Defending the Forest / M&S Seedless Raspberry Conserve

Raspberry jams are nice, except for the little seeds that are not big enough to be easily removed and not small enough to be ignored by your teeth. So when I saw this M&S Seedless Raspberry Jam, I thought they must have solved the greatest problem in the jam world!

I spreaded it on a wholemeal bread, closed my eyes and took a bite.

I was in a world surrounded by cartoon fruits and cute animals. I was their protector. When they evil humans come to cut down the trees or kill the animals, I would shoot them with seeds. Yes, evil humans do not like seeds because it’s too close to nature for them. They will run away from it.

Oh, here comes a human with an axe. Quickly, I took my gun, plugged the big hose into a watermelon and started to shoot at him. You see, my gun can extract the seeds out of most food and shoot it.

Yay! The evil human has run away. But oh no, another one is coming.

Quick! My watermelon has run out of seeds. I grabbed the next thing available. A M&S Seedless Raspberry Jam. I jammed (pun intended) the hose into the jam and pressed the trigger. Haha! Taste the might of nature’s seeds! Run for your life!

Wait a minute… There’s nothing coming out. Is something wrong with my gun? No, it was working just a minute ago. Could the jam have jammed it (pun again)? I dug a dollop with my fingers and tasted it.

Wow! This jam is nice. I love raspberry jam in general as they are just the right balance between sweet and tangyness. Exactly what a jam should be. The texture of this jam was smooth, more like jelly. But why is this one nicer than the others. Oh yes! It didn’t have those annoying seeds that you find in other raspberry jams. Perfect!

Well, not perfect for me at this particular moment because the evil human is closing on me and I do not have any seeds to shoot. Of all the food, I had to choose this seedless jar of jam. How now brown cow?

I took the whole jar of jam and threw it at the evil human. Bang! He ran away faster than most others. Well, looks like I’ve found a new weapon.

I bought this with my own money from Marks and Spencer’s, Singapore.

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